Tariq Mahmood Awan
Betrayal is a complicated and painful emotion begotten when someone we trust violates our expectations or contracts. Betrayal can cause us to feel shocked, hurt, incensed, and betrayed. It can also damage our self-esteem, emotional health, and relationships with others. Betrayal can have dissimilar motivations, symptoms, impacts, and coping strategies depending on the type and intensity of the betrayal, the relationship between the betrayer and the betrayed, and the personal and situational factors involved.
Betrayal can be defined as a breach of trust or loyalty that harms or disappoints another person. Betrayal can be intentional or unintentional, active or passive, direct or indirect, personal or professional, and physical or emotional. Some illustrations of betrayal are cheating, lying, stealing, abusing, abandoning, gossiping, backstabbing, and manipulating. Various psychological reasons, such as selfishness, greed, lack of integrity, fear of consequences, power imbalance, insecurity, resentment, revenge, boredom, addiction, or mental illness, can cause it. Environmental factors like stress, pressure, opportunity, temptation, culture, norms, or peer influence can also influence betrayal.
Betrayal can trigger a range of emotional, cognitive, behavioral, and physical reactions in the betrayed person. A few common symptoms are stupefaction, denial, confusion, sadness, anger, guilt, shame, anxiety, depression, distrust, isolation, loss of identity, and low self-esteem. Betrayal can also cause post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), especially if the betrayal involves violence or trauma. The betrayal can have negative consequences for both the betrayer and the betrayed person. For the betrayer, betrayal can result in guilt, remorse, regret, loss of respect, and reputation damage. For the betrayed person, betrayal can result in emotional distress, relationship problems, health issues, and tribulation in trusting others. Betrayal can also affect other people who are involved or affected by the betrayal.
Betrayal can be overcome by various coping strategies that aim to heal the emotional wounds and restore trust and well-being. Some efficacious coping strategies are seeking support from others, expressing emotions in healthy ways, setting boundaries with the betrayer, practising self-care and self-compassion, seeking professional help if needed, forgiving oneself and the betrayer if possible, and learning from the experience. Then, sages say that betrayals should not go un-avenged.
Avenging betrayal can be defined as a deliberate act of harming or punishing someone who has betrayed us. Avenging betrayal can be direct or indirect, personal or professional, physical or emotional, proportional or disproportionate, and justified or unjustified. Avenging betrayal can be motivated by various critical reasons that relate to our sense of justice, fairness, morality, dignity, and self-respect. Betrayal can make us feel powerless, vulnerable, and violated by the betrayer. Avenging betrayal can help us regain our power and control over the situation and the betrayer. It can also deter the betrayer from repeating the betrayal or harming others in the future.
Betrayal can cause us to feel angry, resentful, and bitter towards the betrayer. Avenging betrayal can help us vent our negative emotions and release our pent-up frustration. It can also make us feel satisfied, relieved, and vindicated by seeing the betrayer suffer or regret. Betrayal can damage our self-esteem, self-worth, and self-image by making us feel unworthy, unloved, and trivial. Avenging betrayal can help us boost our self-esteem and identity by asserting our value, worth, and prestige. It can also help us reclaim our dignity, pride, and honour by showing the betrayer that we are not worthless, sedentary, or submissive. Betrayal can violate our sense of justice and fairness by breaking the rules, norms, or expectations we agreed upon with the betrayer. Avenging betrayal can help us seek justice and fairness by holding the betrayer accountable for their actions and making them pay for the consequences. It can also help us uphold our moral principles and values by showing the betrayer that we do not tolerate or condone their ill behaviour and unjust treatment.
Lastly, avenging administrative betrayal is critical for dignity, self-esteem and elegance. Pakistan has inherited a colonial model of governance, where the top bureaucracy treats the others as “untouchables”. People at the helm of the offices treat juniors and other staff arrogantly and disdainfully. Then, most of them utilise the juniors and staff for their ulterior motives. Accordingly, there is a recurrent process of administrative betrayals, deceptions and perfidies. It results in the personality decay of the juniors and staff. Therefore, juniors and staff must avenge their administrative betrayals. Avenging the betrayals will ensure healthy mental, psychological and physical health. Hence, never concede an administrative betrayal during the years of a job. You are too worthy as a human to be deceived and betrayed.
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